Jan 24th,
2023
I recently published my non fiction book “I Am
Mum” It is based on a true story about my experience of being a mum and step
mum and some of the hardships I faced along the way. As my situation was
difficult I wanted to write about it to help others who might find themselves
in a similar situation.
Whilst writing it I got to thinking alot about the
different experiences that people have of being a mum & step mum, and how
it is not always easy or as rose tinted as some portray it to be on their
social media, or in what they choose to tell you or share with you whilst
chatting at the school gate, or over a coffee, most want everyone to think that
they are smashing it as a parent and don’t want others to judge.
I think that there is a real stigma around being a
“perfect mum/parent” you only have to look at some of the posts and comments
that people make, for example when busy mums share their life hacks for packed
lunches and before you know it the mum is being attacked on social media for
supposedly giving the child an unhealthy/too small/too large/over the top/
unaffordable lunch in their lunchbox! How many times have you sat in a
restaurant or coffee shop and your child won’t stop crying and you have thought
I need to leave because people are staring and you feel you are being judged? I
have! How many times have you felt like you are the only person that must have
these particular problems as a mum/parent? I have! Have you ever looked at another
parent and thought they know what they are doing but I don’t feel like I do? I
have! I could go on, the list is endless, but how many would admit that they
have these thoughts or feelings?
Sometimes parenting is a lonely place, and one of
the things that I have tried to emphasise in my book is the importance of
speaking up, talking to others about what you are going through, and not
feeling like there should be any shame in what you are experiencing as a
parent. Parenting isn’t a competition!! There is no manual on parenting, and
all kids are different so why not share the good and the bad and support each
other?.
There are so many rewarding moments as a parent
which of course should be celebrated, and it isn’t all doom and gloom at all,
but then there is also another side of parenting, the side that not many
willingly talk about, the hard times, the times where you feel that the
responsibility of it all is alot, that you are not doing enough, and what you
are doing isn’t necessarily the right thing to do, If we are honest we have all
been there, some are just not as willing to admit it, or talk about it, but the
next time you find yourself in this situation talk about it and share your
experience?, you never know who it might help.
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